Teen Wolf: A Teenager’s Tale of Self-Acceptance

(Excerpt from Justin Young’s book, The Three Keys of Effective Communication With Teens.  Download it FREE here.)

You may think this is a little too much information, but I hit puberty early.

I started shaving when I was twelve.  My voice changed overnight.  In the next year, hair multiplied on my arms, legs, underarms…you know, the whole rigmarole.  Hair even established prosperous settlements on my chest and abs.

But when my late-teens hit, I began growing hair somewhere that was just unacceptable for a teenager – my back!  (And I’m sorry if I just made you throw up in your mouth a little.)

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I was so embarrassed.  If I knew I was going to a pool party or the beach, I would either try to shave it or wear a T-shirt.  Neither option was very fun.

Well, my senior year, I hosted an end-of-the-year pool party at my house for the kids in school .  It was great!  Swimming, hamburgers and hot dogs, pool and ping pong … and there I was, in my T-shirt and swim trunks.

Wearing a shirt in the pool is very restrictive.  Here I am, watching all my friends actually having a good time, while I was struggling.  I was miserable as I allowed my self-consciousness to scare me into believing everyone is going to think I’m gross and not like me as much anymore.  Especially the pretty girls who were there.

But after a few hours I couldn’t take it anymore.  Off went my shirt and I jumped in the pool.  It was more important to me to have real fun with my friends than live in fear of what they would think about my Teen Wolf impersonation.

And you know what?  They didn’t care!  What was I afraid of?  From that moment on, I had the best time.  And to top it all off, one of the pretty girls who was there actually tried to kiss me afterward!   I’m not talking about a peck on the cheek kind of kiss.  I’m talking about an “Ooo-la-la” kind of kiss.

She didn’t care that I had a hairy back.  She still thought I was attractive.  My friends didn’t care that I had a hairy back.  They still thought I was cool.  I think one of my friends did comment on it, “Dude!  You’re hairy.”  “Yeah, I know.”  And that was it.

When I stopped caring about what other’s thought, accepted the things about me that I had no control over, I was free!  I had fun and enjoyed life.  I realized that most people, at least the people who matter, don’t really care about how you look as much as you do.

-Article written by Justin Young.  Justin is a nationally recognized motivational youth speaker, “teen-esteem” and life choices expert, and the founder of The Pink Shoe Hero Foundation.  Please click here for more information on Justin’s program for teens, parents and educators.

Change a Teen With Unconditional Acceptance

You may have heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (see pyramid). In a nutshell, if we are to ever to ascend the summit of our true potential, and live a happy and fulfilling life (self-actualization), we must first provide ourselves the basic needs of, as Maslow puts it, Esteem, Love/belonging, Safety, and Physiological.

One of our most primary needs is ACCEPTANCE. It falls into the “Love/Belonging” and “Esteem” categories.

Acceptance is never more important than during the teen and preteen years – when they are clamoring, ever so awkwardly, toward adulthood and on their way to the summit of self-actualization (their true potential).

Many of us believe the basic need of Acceptance can only be supplied by others. That it is something that comes to us, and something others must provide for us.

“BZZZZZZZZT!” Wrong! Or, in the words of Alex Trebek, “Oooooo…sorry.”

One thing I stress to teens as I travel across the country is that if they spend their time expecting other people to make them happy, they’ll never be happy.

The same thing is true with Acceptance.

The person who should be the most accepting of you… is you.

Why do you think teens make so many stupid decisions? Even adults for that matter?

When people are hungry for acceptance and seek after validation, they make choices that they wouldn’t normally make. They believe that by acting a certain way it will help them to be noticed and accepted by the person or group they’re trying to impress.

Why do you think:

• kids get involved in gangs
• there is a bullying epidemic in schools across our nations
• there are as many as 850,000 teen pregnancies reported each year
• 20% of teens have seriously considered suicide in the last 12 months
• 80% of 12th graders and 51.7% of 8th graders use alcohol as their drug of choice
• 1.3 million students fail to graduate each year

…and on and on.

To help a teen accept themselves, they must feel unconditional acceptance from you.

Giving a teen unconditional acceptance means regardless of what they’ve done, who they are, what they say, or where they come from, you make them feel understood instead of judged. And that’s not always easy. We’re human. It’s natural to pass judgment.

Don’t confuse acceptance with approval.

Accepting a teenager unconditionally doesn’t mean you have to accept their reasoning, the premise of what they’re saying, their poor behavior or bad attitude, their disrespect, their playing the victim card, or their oft-times poor sense of judgment.

But the simple act of showing them that you accept them for who they are, as a person – their weaknesses, strengths and all – is the first step to helping them build their own self-acceptance. This will lead to their building a more positive self-esteem and self-confidence. It will open the door of a truly meaningful relationship in inspiring and influencing the life of a teen.

-Article written by Justin Young.  Justin is a nationally recognized motivational youth speaker, “teen-esteem” and life choices expert, and the founder of The Pink Shoe Hero Foundation.  Please click here for more information on Justin’s program for teens, parents and educators.

Real Bullying – “We Have A New Problem”

Recently, I was interviewed for an article that was published on Loop21.com.  It was a great article!  (Click on the website to read it.)  It brought up a very important point that I wanted to take the opportunity to expound upon.

October is National Bully Awareness month. And it is important that we are aware of a new and dangerous trend happening in our society… and it has nothing to do with the bully.

Jennifer Livingston, a news anchor in La Crosse, Wisconsin, has been in the national news recently.  She responded on live television to a harshly critical email she received.

Her response to this individual was so passionate, and empowering, that the video has gone viral; making news across the country; even landing her on Ellen.  She’s been hailed as a hero for standing up to bullying.  She is, for certain, a brave, strong woman.

Every statement she made in this video, and every principle she alluded to, was absolutely correct.  I could go on and on about each wonderful point she made… except for one.

This was not bullying.

And this is illustrative of a trend that is happening, and that is ingraining itself into our way of thinking.  It is a trend that we need to be cautious of, and must run away from — fast!

Here is the email Jennifer received:

It’s unusual that I see your morning show, but I did so for a very short time today. I was surprised indeed to witness that your physical condition hasn’t improved for many years. Surely you don’t consider yourself a suitable example for this community’s young people, girls in particular. Obesity is one of the worst choices a person can make and one of the most dangerous habits to maintain. I leave you this note hoping that you’ll reconsider your responsibility as a local public personality to present and promote a healthy lifestyle.

You may be shocked, like I was, that someone had the nerve to write such a thing.  Now, let me ask you:

• Was this bullying… or was this criticism?
• Are these the words of a bully, or are they the tactless words of someone expressing a legitimate concern regarding a local celebrity?
• Is this really an attempt to demean and intimidate, or is it simply a candid criticism?

Read it again if you’re not sure.

The trend of labeling any form of criticism as bullying is the result of desensitization to the word and a lack of understanding regarding what bullying really is.

What we should be doing is providing clarity to the issue of bullying.  What we should not be doing is attaching the label “bullying” to every criticism that offends us.

-Article written by Justin Young.  Justin is a nationally recognized motivational youth speaker, “teen-esteem” and life choices expert, and the founder of The Pink Shoe Hero Foundation.  Please click here for more information on Justin’s program for teens, parents and educators.

Be Your Teen’s Kung Fu Master – Part 4, The Dragon Warrior

Each of us faces our own “Tai Lungs.”  No, a Tai Lung is not some weird Taiwanese delicacy that contestants are forced to eat on Fear Factor.  In this case, “Tai Lungs” are your fears.

As your teen’s Kung Fu Master, the ultimate goal is to prepare them to face and overcome their fears.  This is what will ultimately build their self-esteem and their self-confidence. In the case of Kung Fu Panda, Tai Lung is a real bad Kung Fu dude.

As the story comes to a close, the evil Tai Lung is on his way to destroy the village.  Po’s training from Master Shifu is complete and he is about to hand Po the Dragon Scroll.  Contained within this scroll is the secret to ultimate power; the key to defeating all enemies and bringing peace to the land.

Po opens the scroll to find… it’s completely blank!  Just a big, fat panda staring back at him.

He feels duped!  Cheated!  How could this be?  It doesn’t make sense.

Isn’t that how we feel sometimes?

Especially when someone wise tells us the answer we’re looking for but it’s not the answer we were hoping for?

Po is confused and scared.  Shifu sees Po is not ready to take on Tai Lung so, because time is short, he sends Po to help the townspeople evacuate.

There will come a time when you have taken your student as far as you can.  You have taught them all you know and they have the life skills necessary to be successful.  But they are useless if the teen doesn’t put them to work.   They are useless if the teen is still angry and confused.

True growth is built on effort.  True confidence is built on action.  A teen will never believe in themselves if they don’t try to believe in themselves.

Shifu’s mistake here was that he failed to continue believing in Po.

Po is crushed.  His dream; all the hard work and training to become the Dragon Warrior for what?  For nothing?  Was it all a waste?  The town will be destroyed; his master killed and all that he loves will be gone.

While escorting villagers to safety, Po meets his father.  His father makes the most famous noodle soup in town with a secret ingredient he’s never told his son about… until now.

Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient is… nothing!
Po: Huh?
Mr. Ping: You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient.
Po: Wait, wait… it’s just plain old noodle soup? You don’t add some kind of special sauce or something?
Mr. Ping: Don’t have to. To make something special you just have to believe it’s special.

Po pulls out the scroll again to look at it.

Po: There is no secret ingredient…

In almost every case, a lesson is better learned when the student discovers the answer for himself.   This is what it means to have something “sink in.”

Guiding your teen to discover the answers for themselves is a more power teaching tool than giving them all the answers.

His whole life, Po has only seen himself as a big, fat panda.

When he was chosen as the future Dragon Warrior, everyone, including those who should have been his teachers, his peers and his friends, just saw him and treated him like a big, fat panda.

Eventually, his teacher saw him for who he truly was.  His father saw him as for who he truly was.  And that was just enough to help Po see himself for who he truly was.

In this moment, Po discovered the secret to ultimate power.  The secret to unleashing the Dragon Warrior.

Po returns to face Tai Lung.

Tai Lung: Who are you?
Po: Buddy, I… am the Dragon Warrior!
Tai Lung: You? He’s a panda! You’re a panda! What are you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?
Po: Don’t tempt me.

Finally, Po understood that true power lies in accepting who you are and being true to who you are.  Once that happens, nothing can stop you.

Your job as your teen’s Kung Fu Master is to help them unleash their own Dragon Warrior.  To do this you must:

• believe in them
• be humble & teach to their learning style
• help them to discover the answers for themselves
• inspire them to take action

Once you do this, they will have the courage and confidence to face the Tai Lungs in their life….

Tai Lung: You can’t defeat me! You… you’re just a big… fat… panda!

Tai Lung, now weak, throws a punch at Po.  Po catches him by the finger.

Po: I’m not a big fat panda. I’m THE big fat panda.

THE END

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

-Article written by Justin Young.  Justin is a nationally recognized motivational youth speaker, “teen-esteem” and life choices expert, and the founder of The Pink Shoe Hero Foundation.  Please click here for more information on Justin’s program for teens, parents and educators.

Be Your Teen’s Kung Fu Master: Part 3

After this series, you will walk away a Kung Fu Master — knowing just how to guide your young people to discover the Dragon Warrior within.

In Part 2 we saw how Shifu made the first transformation from a Master who did not believe in his student’s potential, to a Master who did.

This transformation took Humility and Honesty and broke him away from status-quo thinking.  It earned him Po’s trust, and more importantly, opened his mind and heart to think outside the box.

One of the most important qualities of a Kung Fu Master is being able to adapt your teaching style to your young warrior’s learning style.

In Part 2 we saw Shifu admit that he didn’t know how to train Po to defeat the evil Tai Lung.  This humility took the focus off of himself and left him with the realization that to train Po, he had to understand Po.

For example, homeschoolers are famous for promoting the teaching of children based on each individual child’s learning style.  It’s one of the reasons they choose to homeschool.  It’s difficult for larger public and private schools with class sizes of 20 or 30 to adapt every single lesson to each individual learning style.

There are 3 primary learning styles:

• Auditory
• Kinesthetic
• Visual 

So which one are you?

It’s actually important to understand your own learning style.  Master Shifu was very successful in training an elite force of Kung Fu warriors, The Furious Five, because, well, they all had the same learning style.  It was familiar.  Shifu simply had to teach them how he was taught.

(If you’re a homeschool parent and are interested in discovering the learning style of both you and your child, take this quiz here.)

So Shifu, now with an open and new mindset, meditates on what he knows about Po.  He is more observant as he looks for clues into Po’s personality.  No longer is he trying to find Po’s flaws, but he’s now seeking out his strengths.

Seeing someone’s strengths is much harder than seeing their weaknesses.

The first thing he notices, is that Po is able to achieve great acrobatic feats when motivated by a love second only to his passion for Kung Fu.  Food!

Shifu: When you focus on kung fu, when you concentrate… you stink.  But perhaps that is my fault. I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five. I now see that the way to get through to you is with this.
(Shifu pulls out a bowl of dumplings)
Po: Oh great, ’cause I am hungry!
Shifu:  Good. When you have been trained, you may eat.  Let us begin.

When you seek to understand your child’s, or student’s, learning style; when you begin to see and acknowledge their strengths instead of their weakness, you are transformed.

You cease to be their critic, and start to be their teacher.

You truly become your teen’s Kung Fu Master!

The final part of this series, Part 4, will expose the final test you must allow your teen to face in order to discover the Dragon Warrior within.

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

-Article written by Justin Young.  Justin is a nationally recognized motivational youth speaker, “teen-esteem” and life choices expert, and the founder of The Pink Shoe Hero Foundation.  Please click here for more information on Justin’s program for teens, parents and educators.

Be Your Teen’s Kung Fu Master: Part 2

After this series, you will walk away a Kung Fu Master — knowing just how to guide your young people to discover the Dragon Warrior within.

I hope you enjoyed watching Kung Fu Panda for your homework.

If you haven’t seen it yet, well, here’s a synopsis courtesy of IMDB.com:

“In the Valley of Peace, Po the Panda finds himself chosen as the Dragon Warrior despite the fact that he is obese and a complete novice at martial arts.”

Need a little more?  Fine — here’s the official movie trailer.

Not unlike martial arts movies, the great sports movies of our time — Hoosiers, Remember the Titans… Space Jam…you know, the really inspiring ones — the successful coaches always express their belief in the players’ potential.  As do Kung Fu Masters, these great coaches see greater potential in their players than the players even see in themselves.  This is how great coaches, mold great athletes.

Master Shifu, the Kung Fu Master tasked with training Po the Panda, has yet to learn this lesson.  Even though he’s a Master, Shifu actually has a lot to learn.  As do we all.

In this movie, Shifu went through several transformations that allowed him to guide Po to realize his true potential as the Dragon Warrior.

First Transformation:  Believe

Po the Panda had a dream.  He dreamed of becoming a Kung Fu warrior.  It’s all he could think about as he worked in his dad’s noodle shop.  But that’s all it was: a dream.

How many of our young people are like Po?  Kids who have dreams but don’t believe they can ever reach them?

When Master Oogway chooses Po as the Dragon Warrior — a warrior prophesied to save their village and be their ultimate protector — Master Shifu is left in disbelief.  He has spent years training an elite team of warriors.  This out-of-shape, un-coordinated tub-o’-lard could not possibly be the one to fulfill the prophecy.  He doesn’t fit the part.

As soon as Shifu is alone with Po, he lets his disbelief known:

Shifu: [To be the Dragon Warrior] One must first master the highest level of kung fu, and that is clearly impossible if that one is someone like you.
Po: Someone like me?
Shifu: Yes! Look at you! This fat butt…Flabby arms… And this ridiculous belly!
Po: Hey!
Shifu: And your utter disregard for personal hygiene!
Po: Now wait a minute, that was a little uncalled for…
Shifu: Don’t stand that close, I can smell your breath.
–
Shifu: Now listen closely, panda. Oogway may have picked you, but when I’m through, I promise you, you’re going to wish he hadn’t! Are we clear?

Even though most of us would never speak like this to one of our youth, our disbelieving attitude will still show through.

We’re human.  We all have prejudices.  We all judge based on stereotypes and labels in one form or another, even if we don’t want to admit it.

We also judge based on our own experience.  A person who has successfully acheived their dream is more likely to be supportive, whereas someone who gave up on their dream is more likely to be bitter and less encouraging.

When a young person opens up to us and tells us their dreams, their goals, or their challenges, our first reaction may be to think like Shifu.  We may laugh internally, humor them, pity them, project our own failures on them, feel bad for them BUT rarely do we believe in them.

• The geeky kid who wants to take the cheer-leading captain to the dance
• the jock who wants to be a dancer
• the student who struggles with reading comprehension who dreams of being a novelist
• the “at-risk” teen who dreams of being an astronaut

Even though we don’t say it out loud, kids pick up on how we feel about them.  “What we think, we manifest.” 

Our feelings show:

• in our tone of voice
• in our discouraging them with reasons why they shouldn’t try (even if the intent is to protect them from disappointment)
• when we avoid or change the subject
• when we distract them with goals WE think are better fitted to our perception of their ability

Any of this sound familiar?  Can any of you remember being treated like this?  I know I have.  From both parents and teachers.

Next, Shifu has a change of heart.

When real danger comes to Po’s village, Po turns to run.  Shifu goes after him.

Shifu: You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
Po: Come on! How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung?
Shifu: You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior!
Po: You don’t believe that!  You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you’ve been trying to get rid of me!
Shifu: Yes! I was! But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine (Oogway).
Po: You’re not my master. And I’m not the Dragon Warrior.
Shifu: Then why didn’t you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed!
Po: Yeah, I stayed. I stayed because everytime you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled; it hurt, but it could never hurt more than everyday of my life just being me. I stayed because I thought if anyone can change me, can make me not me, it was you! The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!
Shifu: I can change you! I can turn you into the DragonWarrior! And I will!
Po: Come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now! And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are you gonna change this into the Dragon Warrior? Huh? How? How? How!
Shifu: I don’t know!  I don’t know.
Po: That’s what I thought.

Now, this scene may not appear to have ended well…but it actually did.  Shifu exhibited two very essential qualities:

First — Humility.  Shifu had to humble himself and change his way of thinking.  He had to truly force himself to believe more in Po’s potential than Po did.

Second — Honesty.  Honesty builds trust.  Even though Shifu had no idea how to help Po turn into the Dragon Warrior, he didn’t pretend he knew all the answers.

Teens don’t want someone perfect.  They want someone who cares.  Someone who they can trust.  Someone who can lead.  Someone who cares enough to believe in them.

Just like Shifu, we must first humble ourselves by shedding all prejudice and preconceived stereotypes.  We must be honest with ourselves and with our child or student…

…And we must believe in them more than they believe in themselves.

In Be A Kung Fu Master: Part 3 we’ll explore how Shifu’s belief in Po and honesty with himself actually put Shifu in the perfect position to be the Master that Po needed.

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

-Article written by Justin Young.  Justin is a nationally recognized motivational youth speaker, “teen-esteem” and life choices expert, and the founder of The Pink Shoe Hero Foundation.  Please click here for more information on Justin’s program for teens, parents and educators.

Be Your Teen’s Kung Fu Master: Part 1

I loved martial arts movies as a kid.  In fact, one of my favorite animated movies today is Kung Fu Panda.

To me, the funniest part of those movies is how the student always gets frustrated with the master who always answers in some fandangled haiku, or reversed question, that doesn’t make sense to them.

 

Apprentice: “Master, how can I ever defeat Han Su’s men?”

Master: “The question is, how can Han Su’s men ever defeat you?”

Apprentice: “Well, easy.  I’m just one guy with a few weapons, and they’re, like, 100 guys, with lots of weapons.”

Master: “Ah, yes.  Young apprentice, you can count the seeds in an apple, but can you count the apples in a seed?

Apprentice: “What the heck are you talking about?!  I’m gonna die here if you don’t help me!”

Master: “The flower which hangs it’s head only sees…”

Apprentice:  ”AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…!!!”

Kung Fu Masters know that the only way for their young grasshopper to truly learn is to help them discover the answer for themselves.  And it’s an answer that always seems to lie within discovering, accepting and being true to who they are.

As a parent or educator, you must be
the Kung Fu Master.

You don’t have to speak in haikus, but

• You do need to know how to express your belief in their potential and belief in their ability to overcome their obstacles.  Treat them now as the person you know they can become.
• You do need to know how to adapt your teaching style to their “understanding style.”
• You do need to know how to ask the right questions to help them think through their issues rationally.
• You do need to know not to beat them when they’re down, but tell them to get up and try again.

Helping them is NOT solving their problem for them.

That will not provide them with any sense of responsibility over their own life or provide them with any sense of accomplishment once they successfully overcome.

Helping them is guiding them through their problem, not giving them the answer.

You do a child no favors by solving their problems for them.  When you teach them HOW to think, instead of teaching them WHAT to think, they will grow into more capable, confident adults.

And that’s the truth.

In this short series, I’m going to do a brief, yet fun, analysis of the movie Kung Fu Panda to illustrate this very thing.

After this series, you will walk away a Kung Fu Master — knowing just how to guide your young people to discover the Dragon Warrior within.

Stay tuned for How to Be A Kung Fu Master: Part 2.

**(Homework: Have a movie night and watch Kung Fu Panda.)

Part 1, 2, 3, 4 

-Article written by Justin Young.  Justin is a nationally recognized motivational youth speaker, “teen-esteem” and life choices expert, and the founder of The Pink Shoe Hero Foundation.  Please click here for more information on Justin’s program for teens, parents and educators.

Born to Fly

If you’ve always been poor, does that mean you’re not meant for wealth?

If you’ve always been sad, does that mean you can never be happy?

If you’ve always been alone, does that mean you’ll never find true love?

If you’ve always had bad grades, does that mean you’re not smart?

If you’ve failed time and time again, does that mean you’ll never be successful?

The answer to these questions…?  YES!  But only if you keep your head down and see yourself as a poor, sad, lonely, stupid failure.

Each of us have been born with the potential for greatness.  ”All men are created equal.”  That doesn’t mean we are born into equal circumstances, or have the same skills.  What we do have in common, though, is the ability to apply ourselves to achieving that which we desire.

Each of us has the capacity to dream big, to assess and accept the aspects of our reality that are standing in our way, learn from them, over come them and succeed.

Unfortunately, it seems to be human nature to always look back instead of ahead; to look down instead of up.  We’re so focused on our feet that we forget the fact that we were born with wings. 

Just like a baby bird, we can’t just start flying as soon as we hatch.  Our wings have to grow strong and develop before we take that leap of faith… or mom kicks us out of the nest.

The “can’t, never, wills” of flying:

1. You can’t fly if you don’t try
2. You’ll never fly if you stay in the nest and play it “safe.”
3. You will fly if you believe in yourself, take a leap of faith and don’t give up.

Just because your feet are on the ground, doesn’t mean you weren’t born to fly.  You have wings that are just as capable as those of your heroes – the men and women who you admire and have always wanted to be like.

The difference is… they’re using their wings.

The question is, when will you use yours?

-Article written by Justin Young.  Justin is a nationally recognized motivational youth speaker, “teen-esteem” and life choices expert, and the founder of The Pink Shoe Hero Foundation.  Please click here for more information on Justin’s program for teens, parents and educators.

Pro vs Anti

The word Pro means you are for something; you support something. The word Anti means to be against or oppose.

In a world of chaos, confusion and negativity, it seems as though there is a movement more and more toward “Anti” type of programs. There is something to be said for spreading the word and message about not doing specific things like bullying, drugs, etc. However, the amount of attention and focus that the media and others have placed on the “Anti-” programs has, in many ways, caused the wrong type of attention. There continues to be so much focus on the bad things, the negative effects and ways to battle against these things. No wonder there it is such a struggle getting through to our youth. They get bombarded by messages of “don’t” and “watch out.”

The Pink Shoe Hero Foundation firmly believes that taking our Pro-Empowerment message is what the youth in today’s world need to hear. When youth can find out what they are passionate about, what goals they want to accomplish and how to find their inner hero, the whole negative/positive dynamic can change.

The truth is, there’s a hero inside each young person.  Often times it just takes someone to help them make that connection. When that connection is made, there is no need for Anti programs because we will see a whole new world where the heroes of today become the leaders of tomorrow. They can then help to inspire a new generation of heroes and leaders.

We have a mission to help youth feel empowered to become the heroes they are meant to be. We want to change Anti into Pro and make a difference. This will come as we get our message out to the world. We hope you will join our cause.

Are you a Hero… or a Villain?

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” — Christopher Reeve

I’ve always thought about the common differences between the Superheroes we love and the Super-Villains we love to hate. So I made a side-by-side check list of these qualities and found that the only real factor that determines whether you’re a hero or a villain – is your attitude.

Go through the checklist below and see what side you’re on. This can be an eye-opening experience, but don’t get discouraged if you find yourself on the wrong side of the list. I’ll tell you exactly how to change from Villain to Hero… or vice versa.

The difference between a Hero and a Villain is:

§ A villain saves himself while a hero saves others.

§ A villain serves himself while a hero serves others.

§ A villain puts his life, his needs, his wants first while a hero will put his own life on the line for others.

§ A villain puts others at risk for his own gain while a hero will put it all at risk for his fellow man and woman.

§ A villain will do the right thing only if he benefits from it while a hero will do the right thing regardless of the outcome.

§ A villain stands on popularity while a hero stands on principle.

§ A villain wants servants and goons while a hero wants teamwork from friends.

§ A villain does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, to whomever he wants in order to get what he wants while a hero does the right thing whether he wants to or not.

§ A villain’s attitude is all about him while a hero’s attitude is all about others.

§ A villain sees others as disposable while a hero sees others as valuable.

§ A villain gains power through destruction while a hero gains power through service and building others up.

§ A villain gains respect through fear while a hero gains respect through courage.

§ A villain surrounds himself with people dumber than he is to satisfy his need for dominance and superiority while a hero seeks out those wiser than he is to fill his need for understanding and personal growth.

If you went through this checklist and found yourself with one too many check marks on the Villain side, don’t worry.

The answer is simple: Think of your favorite superhero story.

Both the Hero and the Villain are born out of something tragic. You know, parents died or they were abandoned as a child; fall into nuclear waste; or they are the product of a science experiment gone wrong. Basically, really bad stuff happens to both of them, BUT the difference is in how they react to it.

A Villain sees himself as a victim, gets bitter and blames others.  A Hero sees himself as a victor, gets better and seeks to protect others.

So to move a check mark from the Villain category to the Hero category, you must first change your self-perception.

Why perception?  Didn’t you just say it was attitude?

Follow me, now…

Trying to change yourself from the outside in is virtually impossible.  Real and lasting change must come from the inside out.

Self -Perception dictates thoughts; your thoughts determine attitude; attitude determines actions; actions are your choices; and choices determine outcome — ultimately defining who you are to others.

And since your actions are defined by your attitude and your attitude is determined by your thoughts, then in order to change any unwanted personal characteristic, you must first change how you think and feel about yourself, about others and about life.

That is why perception is the only difference between what makes one a Victim or a Victor — a Villain or a Hero.

Who will you choose to be?